A long-distance outback trip is like a driver-training refresher course. Mike Jacobson tells how his recent Simpson Desert jaunt sharpened up his driving skills
WORDS BY MIKE JACOBSON PHOTOGRAPHY BY OFFROAD IMAGES
ANIMALS
Potential problem: Keeping the bullbar looking as-new.
Practical solution: It’s all very well to say "Drive at a speed that will let you take evasive action", but we all know that’s a fantasy. So I did the next best thing - kept my eyes peeled for stray wildlife, and knocked a few kays off the speedo in scrubby areas, where you can't see the so-and-sos before they dash out across your path.
BITUMEN
Potential problem: Is the road melting, or is this a LandCruiser commercial?
Practical solution: The blacktop to and from the Simpson is dangerously tedious at the legal limit. To stay alert, we made regular pit-stops and driver-swaps.
BOGHOLES
Potential problem: Convincing everyone that it was the fourby’s fault.
Practical solution: At bogholes, we took side tracks or dry patches where they were available. Where the only way was straight through the mud, it was Plan B: use enough right boot to keep moving!
CATTLE GRIDS
Potential problem: "Thump!" Funny, it didn't look rough!
Practical solution: Just like dunes, no two grids were alike. Smooth and bumpy, wide and narrow, on straights and corners, see-through pipe and solid panels. For sake of the tyres and suspension, the only option was to button-off and trundle across.
DUNE PROCEDURE
Potential problem: Hey guys, how far ahead are you? Guys? Guys?
Practical solution: While DB in the Patrol kept trundling along in front, I kept stopping to scribble notes in the Jimny and then scampering back to the GU’s tail. Sometimes the gap stretched to several kilometres, but I could always check how far by perching on top of a high dune until the Patrol popped into view.
ESCAPE ROUTE
Potential problem: Jeez, that was close!
Practical solution: On such a long trip there was always the possibility of a sudden detour. An oncoming car over a crest, or a large animal wandering out from the scrub, for instance. The best defence is to make and continuously update imaginary escape routes that avoid big holes and solid objects.
FUEL CONSUMPTION
Potential problem: Wasn’t there one more full drum?
Practical solution: We worked out how much extra juice to take by adding up the distances between refill stations, guesstimating the worst realistic consumption rate, rounding the figures conservatively, and then adding a bit extra for luck. Birdsville to Oodnadatta was 600km on the map, but with extra driving for photography, call it 650. We guesstimated the Patrol’s dirt- and-sand driving consumption at 30L/100km, so call it 35. Now 650km at 35L/100km is 227.5L, so call it 230L. The Patrol’s standard tanks hold 131L officially, so call it 125L, which leaves 105L extra to bring. Six 20L drums should have covered it, but we took another two, just to be sure!
GIBBERS
Potential problem: Who put those rocks on the road?
Practical solution: Letting a few psi out of the tyres helped soak up the bumps on the hard gibber plain roads. But scattered among the pebbles were 20cm tyre killers - dodging those mongrels at 100 kays was like playing Space Invaders!
HIGH-RANGE
Potential problem: Torque or fuel?
Practical solution: The Jimny and Patrol 4.8 both had good power-to-weight ratios, so they stayed in high-range all the way. If the sand had been really dry and soft we might've had to drop into low-range, but only when absolutely necessary. Or we might've had to walk the last few hundred kilometres.
ISOLATION
Potential problem: Are we there yet?
Practical solution: Signs like this one had to be taken with a grain of salt. Betoota's only a locality now, with just a derelict pub. And Windorah’s a long, long way away.
JUNCTIONS
Potential problem: That left turn should be somewhere about here...
Practical solution: Most track junctions weren’t too hard to pick, and they were usually marked by signs. Hardly the sort you'd see on a city freeway, but they’re there to be seen.
KNOWLEDGE
Potential problem: What do we do here, DB?
Practical solution: There’s no substitute for outback driving experience, and Dave ‘DB’ Bradley, of Platinum Adventure Tours, has as much as anyone. Whatever the situation, he knew exactly what to do.
LOST
Potential problem: Where’d the track go?
Practical solution: We couldn't miss the wheel tracks through the vegetation - even on the lesser used French Line. So there wasn't much chance of us getting lost. Some arid spots might be tricky in a dry spell or blinding windstorm, but you’d be right if you kept your wits about you.
MIRRORS
Potential problem: What the!?
Practical solution: In both trucks, all we could see in their rear-view mirrors was the load we'd packed in the back. So we adjusted the side mirrors to see anything that might be steaming up from behind.
NO LIMIT
Potential problem: Stopping from warp-speed in 50m.
Practical solution: The 20km run south to Poeppel Corner is in the derestricted Northern Territory, so we could’ve done Donald Campbell imitations on the salt lakes if they hadn’t been so soggy. No way were we going ballistic on the desert tracks - far too risky.
‘OUTBACK MODE’
Potential problem: We must be the only people out here!
Practical solution: Assuming that there’s no-one else around is a potentially fatal trap. We pulled off the track, or at least to one side in thick scrub, for tea-breaks and pit-stops. A quick look back up the road before restarting made sure that some unsuspecting bod didn’t clean us up.
PRACTICE
Potential problem: I’ve never driven on sand before.
Practical solution: We’d driven the Patrol 4.8 on sand before but not the Jimny, so our SWB comparo before the Simpson trip was a good chance to get the feel of the lightweight wagon on the soft stuff.
QUEENSLAND
Potential problem: XXXX!
Practical solution: There isn’t one (sorry Roothy!).
ROADWORKS
Potential problem: Shock-killing corrugations.
Practical solution: The main outback highways are getting better all the time, thanks to regular maintenance. On almost every trip - especially after rain, when the earth is softer - you’ll see graders ironing out the lumps and bumps.
SLIDING
Potential problem: Seeing the road ahead through a side window.
Practical solution: A bit of sideways action is always on the cards in sand and mud, and this trip had its fair share. If you’re not confident in the soft stuff, a 2WD car control course is a good start because you’re driving a more stable vehicle. Then you can gradually upgrade your skills to the fourby.
TRACTION
Potential problem: Lots of noise but not much action.
Practical solution: Lesson One in the better 4WD driver training courses is to keep traction. No grip means no control. We lost all grip only a handful of times on the trip, and when it did happen the usual trick was to stop, back-track and take an easier route. Only when that wasn’t an option did we try road building or more momentum.
UPS & DOWNS
Potential problem: If the earth is flat, then we’re about to drop off the edge.
Practical solution: There was a knack to getting over the tops of dunes, especially the sharp ones. Too fast and there was the risk of a short flight and a rough landing, or running into someone coming the other way. Too slow and there was the risk of getting bogged or hung up with the wheels spinning. With 1100-odd dunes across the Simpson, we got plenty of practice!
VISION
Potential problem: Can’t see a thing in this dust!
Practical solution: There wasn’t much bulldust after the rain on this trip, so we didn’t have much trouble overtaking. The only thing to watch out for on wide outback highways was a car popping out of an unmarked dip. On narrow roads, if the UHF, headlight flasher and horn didn’t get the desired result, it was just a matter of being patient until an overtaking opportunity came along.
WATER CROSSINGS
Potential problem: Abandon ship! The motor’s drowned!
Practical solution: The only two creek crossings worth stopping to think about were near Cordillo Downs, before we got to Birdsville. The water didn’t look very deep, so we put the Patrol through first - its fording depth is more than double the Jimny’s. With the Suzi it was ‘gently does it’ going in, then holding the momentum to keep the small bow wave happening all the way to the other side.
XTRA CAREFUL
Potential problem: Isn’t he cute? Pity he’s flat as a pancake!
Practical solution: Sadly, it wasn’t always possible to avoid running over native creatures that picked the wrong time to cross the road. But we kept an eye out for ‘em, and took photos of the ones that didn't scamper off into the scrub.
YAKKA
Potential problem: Work’s great - I could watch people working all day!
Practical solution: Driving through the outback for a living might seem like a dream job, but for truckies it’s hard yakka. Passing or overtaking, we gave them plenty of room.
ZZZZZ!
Potential problem: Dreaming of driving along an outback track, then waking up to find that you are!
Practical solution: The only way we can do these long trips safely in such short timeframes is by getting plenty of sleep. Early starts mean early nights, so it's into the swags pretty well straight after dinner.
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL
If there's one important lesson from outback touring, it's that you never stop learning. Every trip is so different that you're bound to have different problems that need different solutions. Which makes you a better off-road driver.
The only certainty is that you'll die wondering what you haven't yet seen. There's an awful lot of outback out there!
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